princess disappeared?

Isn't this interesting. I just received the following email, courtesy of one very pissed-off demon prince:

I got home to find that my sweet Bride has dissappeared. Empath, nephew, angel, and anyone else with power and a bond, try to feel her out. Spies and fluffy pink girl, see what information you can find. The rest of you, stay the fuck out of my way.

Is it the same person or group of people who's been targeting the forums? Who's brave enough to stick around and find out? Most importantly, what's D going to do when he finds the person who kidnapped his wife?

suicides, fauxlebrities, and transvestites

Things have certainly taken a dark turn here. Princess C has attempted suicide, yet again. Twenty mara say it's over a guy. While her husband, D, was able to save her (again), it's clear she has no idea who he is. Did he fabricate their whole marriage? Or is Princess C just copying A? Her memory's usually too strong to be lost for long, so if she is faking it, we'll see the slip in a couple of days. I know, it's an eternity, isn't it, my kittens? Let's hope she remembers how to use a computer...

In other news, a new rising star is trying to make her fame online. Careful, G. The higher you climb, the longer the fall. Her songs all seem to follow the theme of betrayal among friends. Is Miss Indifferent secretly a member of the Fabuli, or is it just a coincidence?

Sightings:

• LF putting out an ad on Craigslist for "anti-talent actors." I wonder what's in the script?
• G buying a brilliantly yellow maternity blouse. Is it for herself or for her cousin?
• E singing karaoke at Toons in Downtown San Jose, wearing black leather short shorts with a hot pink seam and a pale pink wig. In all that black leather, was he trying to copy Jeffree Star, or is he just a trashy Marluxia-wannabe?
• B on a bus in Downtown San Jose, with a cute pink-haired transvestite on his arm. Wonder who that could be?
• Princess C looking sadly at a gigantic blue and silver pendant around her neck. Thinking of pawning it for rent money?
• LF taking his new panda cub, Mookie, for a walk and being cute and annoying all over the place. Grow up, will you?
• U taking LF's other cub, Gregory, for a walk. Also being cute and annoying all over the place.
• U and LF taking bets on a little fight between the cubs. Aww.
• OS slipping something in Princess C's mead. A roofie?
• G calling C4 and playing nice to her mother over the phone. I didn't know you could fake an American accent. Or is it the Hungarian accent that's fake?

Keep watching, my kittens. Things are just about to get interesting.

no one does it better

It's been a long-standing theory of mine that there's no better way to get to know somebody than to peek in on them when they think nobody's watching. Bloggers who don't actually expect anybody to read their posts sometimes give out the best information of all, while those of us who are posturing for a bigger crowd tend to slip up or overpasteurize our work. I put myself in a middle category: Those of us who are interested in finding out the truth at any cost. I protect my identity and the true names of my blogees so they can't sue me for slander, but everybody in the circle knows who I'm talking about, and those who don't aren't paying very close attention. SAM must not be paying very close attention, because he seems to have no idea what I'm talking about. That's not surprising, because he seems to be a newcomer to the world of blogging in general, and as far as I'm concerned, he's just jumping on the C4 vs. Princess C bandwagon. Half the time, he doesn't even seem to know what he's supposed to be talking about, or he wouldn't be so vague. There's a difference between being vague to protect your sources and talking just to make yourself heard when you have no idea what you're talking about.

There's another new blogger in town. That's right, kittens, E is for Emotea, writer of Emotea World. He seems to know what he's doing, anyway. It's risky to put your diary online, as Princess C learned last year, but if you've got nothing to hide, you've got nothing to fear. Is Emotea being fearless or foolish?

Only time will tell, and you know I'll be the first (accurate) one on the case.

deliberate reactions

It seems Princess C has delved even farther into her alcoholism. I received an email from a reliable source saying that today, she stayed up until 5:00 in the morning drinking strong mead and trying to fill out job applications. My guess is that she hates the thought that C4 can do something she can't. Two things, if you include driving. Another source has told me that she ate an entire loaf of pepper jack in three days, the same amount of time it's taken her to drain that bottle of mead. When you're allergic to chili oil and you know that alcohol thins your blood sugar, it's natural to assume that you want to kill yourself. Don't do it, dearie, because then I'd have to find another subject to blog about, and the only other person who comes close to being as fun is Daughter H. What's this I hear about her trailing a "green-haired lesbian" through a local mall? What will Mrs. H do when she finds out that her daughter may be offering the love that dare not speak its name? Who is that girl she was following? I have a definite suspicion, but no confirmations.

Sightings:

• Princess C buying a new pair of jeans and grabbing a job application from Van Heusen. Getting too fat for your old ones?
• B getting in a snowball fight at his family's cabin. At least he wasn't at Lido Night Club stalking his ex.
• LF vomiting what appeared to be half his stomach lining in Downtown San Jose.
• LF vomiting the other half of his stomach lining in Downtown Campbell.
• LF vomiting his esophagal lining in Santa Clara. I'd say he was bulimic if there had been sightings of him eating anything. Drunkorexic, perhaps?
• Princess C buying a new acoustic guitar from a mall in Milpitas. Did she go because she knew it would be safe, with B out of the neighborhood, or because she's finally wized up to the fact that her boy toys won't buy it for her if she keeps pushing them away?
• Princess C and her hacker friend having lunch at an upscale sushi restaurant. Could they be the ones sabotaging Gate? If so, why would they also destroy her site? A red herring, or is she innocent?
• E furtively scribbling in a journal in a mall in Milpitas. What was he doing at that particular mall? Or was he just after a new pair of skinny jeans?
• U catching a red-eye midnight flight to San Jose Airport. Finally back from his extended vacation, or looking to meet up with the boy who has a crush on him? On a side note, I think it would be fun to see him and E meet. They'd either get into a bitch fight or sit around soaking up each others' fabulousness.
• Miss Hades crying her eyes out because nobody would take her calls. Aww. That's what happens when people find out you spread rumors about them. That's why I never get caught.
• Princess C reading New Moon on the train ride back from Milpitas. We knew you read Stephanie Meyer, but we didn't know you'd let yourself be seen reading her in public. Guilty pleasure, or are you only doing it to update your blog with commentary? Better finish typing the scribbles in the first book, before moving on too far...
• E doing body shots at Lido. Looks like B's rubbed off on you a little bit.

Keep up the good work, my kittens. I'll be watching.

new players or innocent passersby?

Who are these newcomers, you may ask? For the purpose of this blog, I'll call them E and Daughter H. They're the native New Yorkers who happened to appear in California just about the same time things were getting dull. E's own blog says that the H family vacations here every winter. Eccentric choice, Mrs. H, or was this a choice made by the mysterious Mr. H? I thought New Yorkers vacationed in the summer, in the Hamptons.

E is a drag queen who seems to be going after the heart of our very own B. Watch out, E. There's a reason Princess C and LF left him. Daughter H seems to be looking for a good time and an escape from her notoriously tyrannical mother. Is it just us, or does her story sound like C4's?

In light of the recent copycat, I forgot to update you on two very important matters:

1. B seems to have been hunting after LF. Lost love getting you down, B? The Priestess seems jumpy about him, and she's not one easily worried.
2. A seems to have lost her memory. Is she slowly gaining it back at random intervals, or is this all a test to see how much the Fabuli remember about her? Why do most of the returned memories seem to have to do with LF?

Now you know, and you'll know more when I do.

happy thanksgiving

Let me tell you what I'm thankful for, my kittens:

• Whoever did this and deleted this site of strife. If only they could do the same thing to Neo RP Gate, they'd have my eternal love and gratitude. The non-roleplay sections were flushed and so was the member list, but the same people keep re-registering. When will they give up? Or are they so devoted to C4 that they never will?
• Our rival blog being dreadfully misinformed, with bad spelling to boot. Just a cheap imitation, or a smoke screen for bigger things to come?
• Princess C is finally feeling well enough to update her blog. In between her commentary about America's favorite drivel, she might let us know something useful about her intentions. After all, who better a source than the gossipee herself?
• A new player has joined the game. Has he done it intentionally, or was he roped in like the rest of us?
• My lovely sources, who have given me all the information I could ask for and more this holiday season.
• All of you, for trusting me to keep you informed.
  

Remember to send your tips to zeusgavemehermes@gmail.com . Is that my email address? Heavens, no. It's the address of my favorite informant. Until later,

Happy hunting, my dears.

another blogger

Well well, my pretty ones, it seems there's another blogger picking up the slack here. That takes some of the pressure off me, but I wonder who his or her sources are? Smoke and Mirrors isn't very specific about who he or she is talking about, but I can guess it's the same people I'm talking about.

You know what they say: Keep your fiends close and your rivals closer.

anonymous

Who is the mysterious anti-benefactor who tried to destroy C4's pride and joy? Even I don't know that. All that was left outside the role play was a slew of journal forums and a note in the brand new chat box saying, "Enjoy your new site."

Who could possibly hate C4 so much that they'd try to destroy her site? Since Princess C worked so much on it, is it an attempt to hurt her too? Why hasn't her site been targeted?

You'll find out more when I do.

she's back

Yes, darlings, the side of Queen C you all dreaded is back. So is her rival, but it seems A is doing most of the talking this time around. And what's this about Queen S and King D being spotted, back from the dead? News travels fast, dearies, and you can't expect something like this to be kept quiet forever. Luckily for you, only suicidals are allowed back into the Count's wing, so you don't have to worry about being kidnapped for a meal.

How is Queen C reacting to being Princess C again? Who can say? She's been acting much like her old self, but something tells me that there's more on her mind than the return of her parents. A ghost from the past, maybe? Or something even more dire? More than one of my sources has noticed that L.F. has been more dormant and D.Z. has been more active. The dawning of a new age, or just routine shift change?

Word on the street has it that our boy B has also gone through some changes. A personality makeover or just an unwanted transplant? Whatever it is, it had him waiting outside Lido every night for the past week. Looking for your ex? He may be willing to see you, but his counterpart obviously feels differently...

Keep watching, children. This is just about to get interesting.

beauty contest?

My my, it seems there's a beauty contest going down between the Fabulous queen and Miss Hades. I for one am anxious to see where this leads. You can register your votes too-- key word, register-- here, here, here, here, and here.

running away?

It seems our favorite Martyr has decided to fly the coop, so to speak. She is avoiding all means of contact with the Fabuli. Has she finally given up on her game, or is she just hiding away to think of something yet more devious? Only time will tell, and you know I'll be the first to know.

turning the tables at last

It seems as though our Fabuli have finally mustered the you-know-whats to profit from their recent mindfuck. If you want to read about it, and you know you do, you can find the books here:

First

Second

Third

Fourth

Fifth

Sixth

Seventh

Eighth

Ninth

Tenth

Eleventh

Twelfth

Additional books: look for author "Blair Falcon." Cunning, but not cunning enough. We know who you are.

I hear the Fabuli's accounts become mysteriously unavailable after their stories are told. Better get to them while they're still there, C4 and co. The books are being made all too quickly for this to have been a spur-of-the-moment whim.

Are the Fabuli finally going to beat the Bogi at their own game? Are they willing to bare their neurotic souls to the world for a chance at money and publicity? Will the whole thing backfire?

You know you're dying to find out.

trouble for our paradise in hell?

Well, well, well. It would seem like our war-god-turned-teddy-bear has had his first dose of neurotic human relationships. Looks like nobody ever taught B not to annoy anybody with more power than him... but will our soft-hearted mogul have the teeth to punish him, or will the Fabuli have to take matters into their own hands?

I'll be waiting with bells on.

how far she's come

"LEONA" FALCON

Sightings: Supermom A with her twin bundles of joy. Twins who are less identical than anybody else first thought. The story so far: the estrobody Queen C gave A wound up in little Leon's potion, dosing him with... a sex change.

I'll leave you to your speculations.

always watching

the results are in

After a respectful moment of silence for the performers in the first annual Caliber Project, our esteemed reviewers have offered their opinions on the summer play.

Due to a last-minute change of venue, the Project did not take place in the newly-completed Caliber Fortress as planned. Instead, actors and audience found themselves crammed like sardines into the "intimate" setting of Desert Impulse, a "bachelor entertainment venue" in Phoenix. The play chosen for bastardization was the Disney classic Beauty and the Beast. Taking songs from the Broadway production and diologue from the DVD put the audience through fifty percent more torture than they would otherwise have been forced to endure.

The idea was brilliant, but the singing and acting fell far short of expectation. Here are some of the casting mistakes made by producers Desmoda Grace and Lebre Tyson:

• Usagi den Huisdier as Prince Iason-- He may sing the Beast's lament with fervor and torment, but casting a vocally-challenged prettyboy as a hideous beast is a collossal error even a lout like Tyson should know to avoid. It's as bad as trying to cast Albert Einstein as the title character in Zoolander.
• Illybrius Falcon as the Haughty Tiktok-- Clearly it's his accent, not his acting, that got him the part. Or is this another example of Desmoda's morbid humor? There's no denying he's a quick study- lost his memory and still memorized all his lines- but the delivery was bull snot. Lesson: Don't cast eternal youth as a Wall Street stockbroker.
• Desmoda Grace as Mrs. Potts-- That had to be a sick joke because the woman can't even pretend to have a maternal bone in her body. Rosemary could have done better. I expected more from the Mistress of a Thousand Faces, even if she did land the part by default.
• Oleander Swallow as Belle-- Take a look at the video just below. Imagine the singer in white as the original Belle and the singer in black as Oleander's interpretation. Horrid, isn't it?

The patrons who did not run screaming from Desert Impulse must be more tone-deaf than Usagi's and Oleander's theoretical love child. Beauty and the Beast? Try Harlot and the Queer. Whoever said gay men were good singers on principle was seriously confused, and audience members at the Project who belived it got a rude awakening.

I only speak the truth.

coverups and charlatans

It's amazing how creative the human race can be when it comes to justifying its own actions. But watch out-- even people who are ace at coming up with things on the spot slip up occasionally, and when those mistakes are noticed, it can cause someone to slip up again and again.

Have you ever been in one of those conversations where somebody says something that's not quite right, and when you or someone else corrects them, they say it doesn't matter and then quickly change the subject? Chances are you have. You might have even been that person. It's okay to be proud, but remember, nobody's perfect, not even me (though I do come close). Everybody makes mistakes and it's okay to be wrong once in awhile. Hopefully you've learned that trying to cover up your mistakes just draws more attention to them.

On another note, it looks like our old friend Miss Hades is back and looking for action. No, not that kind, gutterheads! Will she get caught in the crosshairs between the warring drama queens? Whose side will she choose? Will she make a side of her own? I know you're dying for details

from your most fabulous

HURRICANE DRAMA QUEENS

Dear audience

I know it's been awhile since you've heard from me, but don't worry. Like the black widow spider, I was waiting for the perfect time to strike. For thsoe of you who followed my old blog, thank you for visiting the new nad improved version. To the new readers, welcome.

In a battle between drama queens, what happens when neither prima donna will give up her throne? When two women fight for the spotlight, will it be the scheming seductress or the altruistic martyr who ultimately fades into the mist? When the titles are only the roles that they play, it's only a matter of time before the masks come off.

Of course, no queen acts alone. Each diva has her own entourage of loyal subjects who will defend her to the grave. When the lackeys lock heads, it's anyone's guess whose side will emerge victorious.

If that sounds like the plot for the latest novel, get ready to be shocked when I tell you that battle is happening here and now. It falls upon me to keep you informed every step of the way.

Let's rock these bitches.